For You

My painting exhibit opened on the first of April. At Gallery Tasmania.

Three months of painting during every one of Simon's nap times, bed times, painting painting painting. I got 12 of my 20 pieces done in that short time.

There some important things learned from (finally) doing this.

Like that I am very very afraid that people will think I have "moved on" or am fully functioning, just because I can tackle a project like this. Truth is, my head is STILL rarely on straight. Grief does crazy things to you, physically and emotionally, and I find it remarkably hard to get to the end of a day and, regardless of how good it may have been, not break down and wonder how in the world I am going to muster the energy to get up the next day and do it all over again.

This started out as just "something to do" so I would have a goal to work towards and not let myself get completely sucked into my grief over loosing Ben. Because, to quote Finnick in Mockingjay:

"It takes ten times longer to put yourself together as it does to fall apart." 

It's taking all my energy just to keep moving on day to day as it is. I can't afford to fall apart because I don't have the energy to put myself back together again. This project, painting with a deadline, has kept me together. It has been frustrating at times, since during my free-time sometimes the last thing I've wanted to do is more work. But, while I've forgotten all the science-y reasons behind it, art, even just coloring with crayons in a coloring book, makes you feel good. It relaxes, and just... helps.

Slowly, I realized that the painting was more than just something to keep me together. It was something I was doing FOR Bennet. Using his memory, the pain caused by losing him, and his far-too-short life, for something good, something beautiful. Because each day that passes feels like I leave him further and further behind. Each day that passes is another day since I last felt him move inside my belly. Another day since I last held his small body in my arms. Another day further away from the day I left him in his small coffin on the side of a hill, alone. Painting, for him, brought him closer to me. Helped remind me that I carry him with me, in memory, always. That while the days bring me further from events, they don't bring me further from him.

And so, my paltry offering to his memory, for now, anyway, are these:

(To view the photos larger, just click on them)
(Due to differences in monitor settings, colors may appear different than in real life. Also, pictures rarely, if ever, do justice to paintings)
(Somehow, with both of us taking photos of everything, one piece STILL managed not to get photographed. I swear I did 20)

Poppies

Poppies Ready For Harvest

Saying Goodbye

Wrong Turn Down a Goat Trail

Another Wrong Turn

To the Water

Behind the Clouds

Storm's Coming

Black Cockatoo

Fairy Wren

Digger's Paradise

Rainy Day in Paradise

Mist and Sunrise

First Date

Open Road

Mathinna Falls

Hide and Seek

His Sheep

Westmorland Falls

(If you are reading this and are in Tasmania, or ever plan on visiting Tasmania, drop in to Fudge 'n' Good Coffee, that houses Gallery Tasmania, to look at other great local artwork, as well as try some, well, GREAT fudge and good coffee. No, I'm not sponsored or anything like that and that's why I say this. I just really like their fudge and coffee.)

Finding Some Beauty Through The Pain

Just before Simon was born, I asked for, and was given, a spot and date to exhibit my paintings.

I naively thought that newborns slept a lot. I was also unaware of how much pregnancy really exhausts me beyond any other kind of exhaustion I've ever experienced, including sleepless nights with a newborn.

A few months before I was meant to bring in my paintings, I admitted to myself it just wasn't going to happen, told the shop owner, and left the dream for another day, when I had a firmer grasp on this motherhood thing or more help at home, giving me time to paint.

And then I was pregnant again. And really really sick. And exhausted again. All. The. Time. With a toddler on top of it.

And then Ben was born. And I had no newborn keeping me up, or busy with feedings and holdings all day. And I have a fairly independent toddler who naps regularly and sleeps very well at night.

Now, I still don't really have a firm grasp on motherhood (but I've gotten good at faking it, and I think I'm a pretty terrific mom), and have the same amount of help around the house as before. But I have time, energy, and grief to work with now. And I needed... SOMETHING... to work towards. Some little way of moving forward instead of just stagnating.

So I asked again if I could show my paintings.

And they said yes. In March if I was up to it.

So I have been working my butt off the last few weeks painting every night and at Simon's nap time.

It doesn't mean I'm OK. It doesn't mean I'm "over it" and have worked through the grief of losing my son. But it does mean I can still be involved in something I enjoy. And that I can still find beauty through the pain (I may or may not have partially been inspired to take the big step of actually committing to do this by an episode of Dr. Who...*). And having that goal has helped me see past the pain and work with it.

It took a lot of thinking and praying to commit to this, honestly. Not only am I so overwhelmed by feelings sometimes that just getting out of bed and making sure Simon is fed, clean, and not in danger of jumping head-first off things is a massive effort, but this would be/is real work. That I am committed to someone else to have finished.

Then there is all this guilt. Stupid, stupid guilt over having free time. Because I SHOULDN'T. I shouldn't have the time or energy to be painting at night or in the afternoons. So while every painting I finish is a triumph, a little "yay me! I'm doing things!", it is followed quickly by the thought "this is just wrong". And working with that takes effort, too, because at first I couldn't do anything because of it. Now the wrongness is changing to, "well, life is just wrong and not how it should be, without my second son, but I can work with it, and through it, and try to accept the wrongness as just a part of a "normal" life".

*I do NOT compare myself to Van Gough. I am a ridiculous amateur who is half decent with a brush, not a master of putting color and light and emotion on canvas. 

A Bit Lacking

It's not that I don't have words. I have plenty of words. Its not that I don't have time either, honestly, because I can make time. I just don't have the energy to write much of anything lately.

I don't even remember how far behind I am in my emailing.

We're expecting baby number two. Sometime November-December. I know I know, I'm VERY late announcing it here. But first of all, I like to do the 'wait 3 months before you tell' thing, and secondly, the first 4 months of this pregnancy were rough. Not as rough as some people have it, most definitely, but still, rough. I'm still having trouble reminding myself to eat (anything but cookies and ice-cream... Which we don't have around the house anyway. Oh, and potato chips).

So between the morning sickness that never ended, pregnancy induced exhaustion, regular looking after a toddler exhaustion, and taking care of basic household needs like laundry and food, I'm physically spent by the time I wake up in the morning.

And my homesickness increases exponentially when I'm pregnant apparently, and Simon has decided to act like a little minion from hell half the day the last few weeks, so add to that emotionally spent.

So by the end of the day (or during nap time, if that even happened) all I want to do is sit and veg. No writing, no emailing, no painting or knitting. Just veg. Or Pinterest. Which is kind of the same thing.

So forgive me, if you still read this. I have words, I have LOTS of words.

Just not the energy.

Heading Home!

Ah, my poor, dear, neglected blog...

I always MEAN to write, but, alas, other things take precedence and I never seem to get around to it. Sad, since I have a list a mile long of things to write about.

But between having a child who only very recently decided that he liked to nap longer than 20-30 minutes three to four times a day after being rocked for an hour (now 45 minutes-1.5 hours, two to three times a day), trying to maintain a certain level of cleanliness in the house, painting projects and sewing projects, my poor little blog has gotten shoved to the bottom of my "to do" list.

It makes me constantly reflect on what I now think is some of the best parenting advice a friend gave me: Don't make plans. I'm not sure she was referring to parenting 6 months in, but I like to think she was, or at least still think it's relevant at this point. Because some days, it might take an hour to put my little tatter-tot down for a nap and he'll only nap for 30 minutes, giving me enough time to... eat a meal (of sorts) and check emails. Other days he might nap an hour or more and I get two loads of laundry folded, the kitchen cleaned up, vacuuming done, toilet cleaned, and maybe even some painting done or some yoga (it's amazing what you can accomplish in an hour, really). I can't really plan on much of ME things getting done during the day. Or night. Because I want to sleep. Or spend time vegging/talking with my husband because we're BOTH exhausted from work, or crying baby, or just overly energetic and angry child who doesn't have the gross motor skills to do what he really really wants yet (though I am convinced his most natural state is happy boy, but even an hour of angry baby can be draining).

I'll not give up this blog, it's just unfortunately had to take a back seat to... everything else. Since I'm not going to be one of those mom's who manages to be a great mom AND blog about it, along with random crafty or foody things. I'm not capable of it. Not all the time. Not HALF the time. Go them. I... can't.

Especially since I've gotten even BUSIER in the last few weeks preparing for....

A TRIP HOME!

After two and a half (nearly) years!

Yes, we'll be making the journey home (my home) November-December. Four weeks of being around my family and friends! The excitement is hard to contain, and half the time I just feel like crying because I can't wait to be back and see people I haven't seen in so so long.

So the last few weeks have been full of all my normal things, plus trying to scour together enough clothes for Simon to wear on planes and at least one day in the states before I can just shop for him (or, thankfully, Grandma bought him plenty of things to wear too!), figure out how many diapers we'll need on the plane (we usually use cloth, so disposables are a new thing for us to be buying), sewing projects like high chairs, toys and diaper pockets to make traveling easier, going through my clothes to figure out what fits enough for me to wear around people again, and praying praying PRAYING Simon will do well on the big 15 hour flight. And all the smaller flights. And with the massive time change (he's such a little creature of habit and routine!). And that I can cope with massive amounts of sleep deprivation and still enjoy my visit. And, you know, be able to comprehend what is going on around me.

And while I might have joked over the last two-plus years that I just want to go back home for a good hot dog and some real pizza (Chicago deep-dish, baby!), I can hardly wait to see all my family and friends again!

Accidents Happen

We heat our house with a wood fire.

Like most of Tasmania.

This is our first year supplying our own wood. The last two winters we've gotten wood from Phillip's parents.  We figured it was about time we become real grown-up married people and buy our own. Also, we don't like to mooch (though I guess we did work for at least some of the wood we were given, helping split wood at his parents).

Load of wood being delivered

The cheapest way to get wood turns out to be just buying it as logs. Massive logs that you cut and split yourself. Which meant that Phillip got to buy himself a few new toys so he could accomplish this task (being that I was super pregnant, I was not going to help cut and split wood).

So, this past summer, not only did we buy about 15 cubic meters of wood, but Phillip got himself a sweet deal on an Echo chainsaw, and a beautiful splitting ax from Fiskars. He liked his new toys.

All summer, on days that weren't blisteringly hot, Phillip would use bits of spare time to cut through logs with his chainsaw, and then split them into manageable pieces for our fireplace. The wood was then to sit out in the sun and rain for a few weeks so that the sap could be washed out, then put in the shed to dry out so and we could have nice dry wood to burn this winter, unlike the past two winters where most of our wood has either been somewhat green or wet. Our (well, Phillip's) goal was to have it all done by the time the baby came. He came fairly close to accomplishing this goal, too.

Testing out his new chainsaw!

Nearly ALL the logs are cut and half of it split!

Unfortunately, things don't always work as we plan, and, on May 4th, while I was inside cleaning like the crazy pregnant woman I was, hoping I would go into labor at any moment, Phillip was outside splitting wood. Fifteen minutes in, Phillip walks into the house with a funny smile on his face.

"Boy, that was a short time splitting" I said. To which Phillip replied, "I cut myself." very calmly, and then showed me his thumb.

Apparently, while trying to dislodge the ax from a block, he managed to run the VERY sharp blade along the back of his right thumb. And, if you know Fiskars products, they're amazingly sharp (which you want. I love Fiskars. Really, I do).

Into the bathroom I dragged poor bleeding Phillip to clean and look at his thumb. It didn't stop bleeding. The second pressure was off it, it started to pour out blood again (maybe I'm being a bit dramatic with the pouring bit, but it was bleeding a LOT). So we decided to drive up town to get some more bandaids and MAYBE go to the hospital.

In the middle of this trip, my midwife, Jenny, called, to see how I was doing. I said something along the lines of, "Well, I'M fine, but we're trying to decide if we should take Phillip to the ER for some stitches..." Jenny also happens to be a nurse at a clinic, which she told us to come down to so she could take a look at Phillip, give him stitches if necessary, then take a look at me. (See why I love my midwife? And that's only one of many reasons...)

Turns out, Phillip needed three stitches. And a tetanus booster. And a note for a week off work. Thankfully, though, no tendons were cut.

At the clinic, waiting for his DPT shot post sutures

And by the time I went into labor his thumb was mostly healed so I didn't have to worry too much about busting open his stitches or hurting him more while I squeezed his hand.

Nearly all healed up, one more week to go with stitches in
(also, the least bad part of the cut goes nearly to the last thumb joint)

Unfortunately, the time Phillip had to rest his thumb to properly heal, which turned out to be about 4 weeks, and then taking on a lot of the household responsibilities because I had to sit for hours nursing a very hungry baby, as well as recover, has left us with wet wood again this year. We have a system of bringing wood in to dry by the fire so it isn't as sodden as it could be, but it still means that our fire isn't burning as hot as we'd like. Alas, not much we can do about it, and at least we've figured out ways of keeping warm without having the fire going hot. Things like, wool socks, and lots of blankets. Or, my dad's favorite, vacuuming (well, when one doesn't have to carry a baby around). 

Bouncing Baby Home Birth

I would like to (proudly) announce that my most recent absence from blogging was due to the fact that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on May 16th.

Simon David, born at 2:45AM at home, and weighed 10lbs 7ozs, and was 55cm long.

He's my monster baby.

When we first found out I was pregnant, we did a lot of praying about what we were going to do throughout the pregnancy and with the birth. Neither of us were really wanting to become entrenched in the medical system and the way it treats birth, but honestly, I wasn't too gung-ho about doing a home birth for my first baby. Though, from the age of about 17, I've been very interested in doing home birth (for possible subsequent children), and water birth (I just love water). So, after one visit to the midwife clinic (most births are handled by midwives here in Tasmania, unless it is a high risk pregnancy or a doctor is requested), one to a doctor, and MUCH prayer, we managed to contact and book the only midwife in the area who does home births.

And she was a God-send.

Jenny was immensely comforting and supportive the entire pregnancy, even going so far as to take me into the hospital for a check-up when I could no longer fit behind the wheel of the car and Phillip couldn't get home in time to take me. She had us come in to the clinic she works at as a nurse when Phillip needed stitches on Saturday afternoon (that's another story though). She did home visits during and after my pregnancy, and would call occasionally, just to check up on me (still does!), Phillip, and Simon. She wasn't just here to look after me and the baby and make sure we were healthy physically, but actually became involved in our lives and made sure that we were and are healthy all around, mentally, physically, emotionally. It was much more... personable... than I have ever experienced or expected.

Giving birth was, well, amazing. Absolutely and utterly amazing.

At two weeks overdue, after an attempt at using castor oil and acupressure, I officially went in to labor at 11:30AM (contractions were a steady 5 min. apart), both Phillip and I had been awake at 3:30AM when contractions actually started. Jenny came over and notified another midwife she was having assist her that she would need to come over some time that day. It was all remarkably relaxed and, well, nice. I wanted to snack on some crackers and peanut butter? I got to snack. I wanted to make cake? I made cake. I wanted to walk around the house doing things? I walked. I wanted to be in the birthing pool? Well, you get the idea. Being at home meant I was free to do pretty much anything I wanted, go about my normal day, while still laboring. Making it seem less... intense. More like life.

Birthing pool, set up in our living room
Phillip, exhausted and "sleeping" on the floor while holding my hands

We covered up or hid clocks in the house because I had no desire to know how long anything was going on, so I don't really know how long I did what. I know that at some point, even being in the birthing pool was taking a toll on my back (I had problems with my lower back the entire pregnancy), and Phillip walked me to our bedroom where he laid down with me and I half napped for, he says, three hours. Don't ask me how I managed to sleep, but I was absolutely exhausted at that point, and somehow fell asleep in between contractions.

What did seem odd to me was that the contractions never got closer together than 5 minutes. Regardless of what I did; walking, sitting on my Fit ball, squatting, "dancing", nothing seemed to help anything progress. After hours and hours, Jenny asked if she could check dilation, and, turns out, baby was all ready to go. After a few more hours of nothing happening, we decided to see if breaking my water would help things. Again, nothing happened. I could feel the little guy descending and all that during the last few hours, but my body didn't seem to want to speed up the labor. My back started giving out in the pool again and I ended up on our bed, where, we just decided I should try pushing.

Pushing was probably the best part of the labor. It was ACCOMPLISHING something. I was WORKING (wow was I working!) and getting something done, not just waiting around for things to progress.

Honestly, it was HARD. One of the hardest things I will probably ever have to do, but it was also one of the most invigorating, wonderful, amazing things I have ever done. I felt... like a warrior woman. Powerful, like, as exhausted as I was after all those hours of contractions having gotten only three hours of sleep the night before, I could DO this. I was MADE for this. I was going to get this done and birth this baby no mater what.

It didn't happen the exact way I wanted, really. I wanted to give birth in the birthing pool (I love love love water, and being in that pool, most of the time, just relieved a lot of pressure). I didn't want to be on my back on our bed. In possibly one of the most difficult positions to give birth in.

Being on my back rather than squatting or kneeling in the pool (which allows for somewhat quicker birth), slowed things down so that my body could really adjust to what turned out to be a BIG baby. We had no idea Simon was going to be as big as he was (we chose to do as few scans as possible and asked to not be told anything unless absolutely necessary). And big babies come with the risk of dislocating little baby shoulders or breaking collar bones during birth, as well as lots of tearing for the mother. We think that God allowed my back pain and the slowness of the birth so that both our bodies could adjust and deliver safely (or at least we allow that God was in control the whole time anyway, and allowed what he allowed for a reason, good or bad in our eyes).

First time holding our little boy

And, I can't say it enough, it was truly amazing. The whole process of Simon being born, and of being able to do it at home. And when his little body was laid on mine.... I have no words. It was just shock, awe, and love. Phillip was able to cut the cord (after it stopped pulsing), and I was able to hold my beautiful (well, at that point he was still rather squashed and a little funny looking) little boy.

AND, (score!) being that we were at home, I got to take a nice hot shower right after and sleep in my own bed for what was left of the night. And my wonderful wonderful midwives helped with, well, everything, afterwords. Jenny even stayed the night to make sure we were ok and help us a bit in the morning.

Phillip, wonderful, amazing, brilliant man that he is, was with me the entire time. He helped me breath through contractions, held my hand, rubbed my back, told me I was amazing, doing well, and, what amazes me the most maybe, watched the entire birth and was amazed and awed by it.

Even now, a month later, Phillip and I are still kind of in awe of it all. The whole process and what God allowed, and what we allowed by following what we truly felt was God's will for this birth.

Simon, one day old, not enjoying having this photo taken at all
(he had just been changed and oiled, so it was all a little much)

Pintrest Challenge Wrap-Up

So... I finished my Pintrest challenge.

Somehow.

A little late.

But in my defense  nesting kicked in SUPER hard this last month, and I wanted to get the house clean before I got too big (or too encumbered with a newborn) to clean.

I hate excuses though, so I did actually finish my chosen projects, even when I got somewhat fed up with them. Well, one of them.

My original pins:

1. DIY Modern Nursing Shawl: I blogged about it here, if you so desire to read about it. Mostly the mix of my frustrations with reading/looking at tutorials and prego brain made this not as easy as it should have been. But I'm still super hapy with it, think it's adorable, and can't wait to use it as a nursing shawl instead of just a regular shawl

2. Blackberry Peach Cobler: I also blogged about it here. Oh my goodness, I wish we had more blackberries so I could make more. It's DELICIOUS. I at least froze a good three pounds of apricots (no, not peaches) to use later. Maybe with apples....

3. DVD Coloring Case: This. This is the pin that almost had me done, and ran me a bit late in completion of the 6 week time frame. I'll have a more in-depth explanation at the bottom of the post, as this is the first time I've been able to blog about it.

4. Fishing Net Decorated Jar: Cute and EASY. And I linked to the tutorial on this blog entry, if you want to check it out.

5. "Got Milk" Baby Hat: Phillip chose the colors for this one, so we have what I call "Alien Boob" hat. I still love it and think the hat is adorable and hilarious. I might have to make another one with different colors, just because I love a laugh.

6. Kanoko Baby Cardigan: I saved doing this 'til almost last, since I have never knitted a garment of any sort before. Oh. My. Goodness. It was SO easy! Once, you know, I figured out that I started out using the wrong sized needles, unraveled half a finished cardigan (so so tiny) and started over on larger needles. I love it! It's cute, and will be able to fit newborn (sleeves roll up SO easily) and a bit older. 

These DVD cases... oh my goodness. Maybe making one or two at a time would have been a better idea, but doing 6 (nearly done with a 7th, making it a velcro checker board. It's a project that contains a lot of variables. Too many, I'm thinking, when you're making this many. DVD cases aren't as big as you'd think, when you want them to contain a fabric pocket (that ends up bunching a bit in the corners, even when you're super careful about folding and gluing), even SMALL colored pencils, and a bit of paper. They close, but... not as well as I would have hoped. They should at least make fun little things for the kiddos to use once on the plane, or at least around home. 

And I do kind of like the random DVD cases with handles we found at a garage sale. We bought a bag of random DVD cases for a dollar, otherwise, I would go with just sewing little bags with pads of paper or something for kids to carry around and draw. Cute idea, maybe works for some, but not as practical and awesome as I thought it would be.

Before

After

Pintrest Challenge Catch-Up

Time for a catch-up on my Pintrest Challenge!

I actually finished my nursing cover using the DIY Modern Nursing Shawl tutorial a few weeks ago, but had to wait for hubby to be home to take some photos, as well as my prego brain to remember to take said photos WHILE hubby was home.

It was just as easy to make as the tutorial proclaimed... if you read through the instructions and comments very VERY carefully. And aren't pregnant and fuzzy brained or maybe a little better at sewing than I am. Fortunately  I wasn't the only one to make the mistake of sewing up more than what was needed. But, comments clarified and it really was a super easy thing to sew. (Yes, it says sew one line, but I managed that while still sewing up an extra side).

Sewing mistakes aside (really, all I did was sew up an extra side. Easily undone.), this is both a very pretty, stylish, practical, and CHEAP nursing cover.

I have to admit though, trying to find fabric here in Tasmania made me LONG for home and Hobby Lobby. Or JoAnnes. Or Hancock Fabrics. Heck, even Walmart. There just isn't nearly as much of a selection anywhere here as there is back home. Especially if you're on a budget. But I did find a cute black with small polka-dots knit fabric for $7 a meter (which was a little more than needed), and it turned out nicely.

Also, yay for finally getting a much-needed haircut!

I also managed to spruce up my Epsom salt jar in the bathroom using this as inspiration. And then I found a great tutorial on how to actually MAKE the fishnet around a jar at Craftberry Bush.

Before
A jumbling of junk as well as bath things.

After
A prettier jumbling of junk and bath things.

Epsom Salt jar now all prettified, and my home made
sugar scrub. Oooohhh it's nice on my feet!

I'm constantly changing what is in the jumble of junk on the tub "shelf". At least for now, until it gets taken up with baby things. And I found four glasses to use as candle holders (unless that was their original purpose, then I found four candle holders) for $0.10 at a second-hand shop to put around the tub. In keeping with my "I love shells and love to stuff them in glass jars and show them off" theme, I did just that and added a tea light. It makes for some nice relaxing baths, though maybe not quite enough light to read by. And what is a relaxing bath without a good book?

I love love love broken shells.

And, bonus, it's actually raining again. which means we have enough water in our tank to enjoy a bath now and then. After experiencing a real Australian summer (the hottest on record), and having only half a day maybe of real rain in four months, I actually find myself looking forward to long rainy days.

Pintrest Challenge

So, one of the Blogs I follow, Merrick's Art, posted a Pintrest challenge.

If you don't know what Pintrest is, I don't know whether to pity or praise you, because it is both a time wasting trap and wonderful source of inspiration and ideas. On my part, I claim (to my husband) that it is not a time waster, as it has brought forth many a delicious new meal, and a few house-cleaning tips (orange oil vinegar?  Best grease cleaner I have ever come across, AND it doesn't matter if it gets on food or dishes).

Anywho, this Pintrest challenge is to pick six pins and, over the next six weeks (though I'm a bit late in the game posting this, so I think it's down to five?) work on and complete said pins. Then report back on progress.

Now, of COURSE I need more to do, what with being super pregnant and having plenty of sewing, knitting, and freezer meal preparing. So... I might be cheating a little and chose some pins that I've been wanting to try for a while now ANYWAY, and sort of lined up with my nesting and baby prep. And I promise that I had these picked out last week, my lazy bum just doesn't get to posting things for ages because, well, lazy.

  1. DIY Modern Nursing Shawl: I plan on breast feeding because, well, it's awesome. I don't feel like having friends, in-laws, or strangers see my breasts when the baby decides to thrash around and remove whatever cover I have. And things like Udder Covers and other nursing covers look like unattractive aprons and cost FAR more than I want to pay. This, is super cute looking. 2. Blackberry Peach Cobler: It's blackberry season again! And apricot season! (that's close enough to a peach, right?) Which means I pick plenty of one, and buy the other SUPER cheap, and need cooking ideas for them. 3. DVD Coloring Case: Friends of ours who have 9 children will be traveling to the mainland in May. Most of the kids are of an age that I think this might help on the long trip over, so I want to make at least a few for the older kiddos. 4. Fishing Net Decorated Jar: I have a few jars I want to spruce up cheap. 5. "Got Milk" Baby Hat: I've been wanting an excuse to make this for years. Even before Pintrest.  6. Kanoko Baby Cardigan: Baby is coming to Australian winter, and I want to try my hand at making something more than a hat. 

Visa Paperwork

After months of hard work, collecting information, evidence, and certified copies of every form of identification my husband and I have, we've finally sent in my application for my partner visa. A whole 2 months and some days before my current visa expires.

Why so long? Well, the deal I made with my husband was this: If I planned the wedding, he had to take care of the visa stuff. And he had very specific ideas about what kind of evidence we should have to show that we are in a real committed relationship.

And no, being married isn't proof of that. We needed evidence that other people considered this a real relationship (so statements from friends and family here in Australia, cards sent to both of us, package slips with both our names on them, bank transfers in both our names, etc.), that we were committed to a long-term relationship (shared bank accounts, both our names on bills, loan applications, tenancy agreements, our wills), and that we actually live and work together (statements on how and when we met, how the relationship progressed, when we decided to get married, and how we divvy up household responsibilities). And then there were slews of personal information that was required that involved a lot of emailing back home to parents, siblings, government agencies to get certified copies of all sorts of things.

All up, when we sent the package, it weighed nearly two kilos. In PAPER. Plus some paper clips. And we haven't even gotten medical checks done yet (those can wait apparently).

Just ignore all the stuff Phillip throws in the back of his car

Now, it's a waiting game to see if they approve. I'll be put on a temporary visa thing of some sort (can you tell how well I've looked into this?) while a case worker reviews the book we sent, and then they'll give me another temporary visa that will last up to two years while we continue to prove that we got married because we wanted to and love each other, and not so I could gain citizenship to Australia. THEN I'll get my permanent residency under my Partner Visa.

Though I'm not going for citizenship, just permanent residency. Too much of a hassle to give up my U.S. citizenship, and it takes, like, another six years to even think about applying.

Our First: Thanksgiving

We celebrated our first Thanksgiving together.

My husband's first Thanksgiving ever. To quote him, "Oh Thanksgiving, where have you been all my life!" And, at this very moment, "Yes, and I meant it. And I want more turkey."

Not that this Thanksgiving was all about the food.... or was it?.... it was just the two of us, and without much pomp and circumstance, since we have no fancy serving dishes, no candles, no big beautiful table or table cloth. But oh, it was fun to introduce him to some of my traditions (in a watered-down way). And delicious.

I was a bit worried about the turkey, as I just borrowed a roasting pan from my mother-in-law, and had no wore rack to put under the bird, so it kind of just sat in the water and it's juices. That, and it's the first turkey I've ever done, and I constantly hear how hard it is to get it fully cooked and still juicy.

Ours was both. And so so good. 3.6 kg (just under 8lbs) of turkey cooked to near perfection. I'm rather proud of it, though there's still room for improvement. The carcass has been picked clean (for leftover turkey sandwiches, soup, or just picking through cold turkey) and is now simmering on the stove to make turkey stock (I'm thankful I have a dad and uncles who taught me to be resourceful and not let good things go to waste!).

Found a recipe for stuffing online (couldn't find bagged stuff anywhere). I can't leave a recipe well enough alone and added about twice the amount of sage it called for (since we have sage growing right outside our door), thyme (also growing outside our door) extra fresh eggs (from our chickens), and garlic. Lots of garlic. Because garlic makes things better.

Freshly stuffed bird

Fresh out of the oven

Our heavy-laden table: Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, buttered peas, asparagus, cranberry sauce, and gravy, and a glass of wine we got at a craft fair.

My dad also taught me how to carve a bird. Phillip was observing this time, wants to practice on chicken.

As per family tradition: stuffing from inside the turkey and stuffing cooked outside the turkey. Stuffing from inside was so much better.

Finally space in our freezer to use our special ice cube trays we bought on our honeymoon!

To intent on food to do much else at this moment

It was a BEAUTIFUL day outside, so we took our pie and two chairs and ate in the setting sun.