Friday, January 2, 2015

Silent No More

A fair warning to anyone who reads this blog: I will talk about my dead son.

Apparently, the fact that I HAVE a dead son and mourn his loss makes people uncomfortable.

The fact that I am slowly gaining the strength and courage to actually talk about him, and the trauma of loosing him, makes people more uncomfortable.

And so I warn you, I will not be silent about it. It is a fact and a pain that permeates every facet of our lives now. And I will not ignore it. 

And if that bothers you, stop reading. Stop following. 

I tell you this not to spare your feelings, not to make you less comfortable. Because I don't care about your feelings right now.

I care about mine. 

I care about my husband's.

And we have, in a short time, already been very very hurt by people who feel uncomfortable around our grief that, even if we tried to hide it, pours from us. 

And we no longer have time for that. We no longer have time for people who want us to stay silent because it might upset them more and because THEY feel uncomfortable.

We lost a child. If YOU feel uncomfortable, think about how we feel. WE now get to deal with this loss, with our feelings,  in what way we choose. YOU get to choose a new way.

And if you are among those that have rallied around us in prayer, thoughts, and kind words...

Thank you. You have given comfort in ways that you can not imagine. 


  1. I'm so sorry you and Philip lost your child. I am sure your grief can be overwhelming. I agree with all you say above. I'll keep reading. -- Uncle Frank

  2. We pray for you and your family daily. Always praying for comfort.

    DeAnn Simon

  3. Standing with you , kneeling for you , loving you always...

  4. Philip and I are praying for you every day, Joy. We love you and pray that the Lord will be your comfort. I wish I could span the miles and give you a big hug right now. I would love to hear all about Bennet! He is a precious baby! Love and hugs to you, Phillip, and Simon.